I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
