3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Oh god it's open bar.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
