i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
