okay pat passed out under dana's car
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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