just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
