My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
