she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize