Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
