I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
