somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Dick very happy bro
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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