thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
