I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
