i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
