I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
