i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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