These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
And my parents said I crawled through the house
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize