someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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