so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
