She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
