So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
