is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
