I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I would ride that face into the sunset
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
