dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
