I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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