Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My boob is missing a layer of skin
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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