i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
