i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
