I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
