i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
