Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
