I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I want to fling myself into the sun
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
