This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize