oh god the rape fog is back!
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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