margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
