I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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