Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
