I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
