i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
