"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
