the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
