I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
