I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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