Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
