Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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