I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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