It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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