imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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