dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
