I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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