Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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