Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
