In America we eat man semen.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize