I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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