She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
