I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My liver just had a heart attack.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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