It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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