he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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