A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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