I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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