Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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