mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
